Ship of the Line: Space Battleship Sunnydale
by Mysterious Dark Lord v3.2
Summary: A response to a "Twisting the Hellmouth" challenge. A YAHF - one of those where a change during the Halloween story in BtVS is permanent. In this case, it comes with a big honkin' spaceship ...


Disclaimer: I don't own crap! Certainly none of the stuff I've ripped off in this story!

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In a cliche warehouse, Spike the Vampire Vampire Slayer Slayer (a vampire who slays vampire slayers) was watching a video of Buffy fighting.

"Here it comes. ... Rewind that. Let's see that again." He chuckled as he re-watched the move. "She's tricky. Baby likes to play. ... You see that? The way she stakes him with that thing? That's what's called resourceful. Rewind it again."

Drusilla the Wonky glided in from another room. "Miss Edith needs her tea."

Spike smiled gently at his companion. "C'mere, poodle." He held out his hand out to her and she took it.

"Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?" she cooed creepily, making the other vampires in the room nervous.

"Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet," Spike said. "That's why I've got to study this Slayer. Once I know her I can kill her. And once I kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Get strong again."

"Don't worry," Drusilla said sweetly. "Everything's switching. Outside to inside." She snuggled close and buried her face in his neck. "It makes her weak."

Spike brightened, recognizing the spirit of prophecy that was upon her. "Really? Did my pet have a vision?"

"Do you know what I miss? Leeches."

"Come on, talk to Daddy. This thing that makes the Slayer weak? When is it?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's Halloween. Nothing happens on Halloween."

"Someone's come to change it all. Someone new." She giggled. "But the new boy doesn't know what he's doing. He thinks to unleash what he wants, but he'll also unleash what he doesn't want." She pulled back and looked into Spike's eyes. "You have to be quick, Spikey. If the Captain saves her, you will miss your chance."

"What Captain?"

"The Captain inside the Kitten. The Great Ship hears his call ... Sword and Shield ... He protects the green fields of Earth ... " She began swaying. "The stars ... they sing the Great Ship's Song ... "

Spike let her drift around the room as he made his plans, not paying attention to Drusilla's nonsense song.

"Saraba chikyuu yo ... tabidatsu fune wa ... Uchuu senkan ... Ya ... Ma ... Toh ..."

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Xander looked around Ethan's shop with a detached air. He was feeling rather escapist right now, especially after Buffy played Heroine to his Ingenue Boy. He wanted something ... manly. He idly toyed with a toy gun and considered a soldier costume.

Then he saw a greatcoat and a hat. An association made itself in his mind.

"Oh yes! I love it!" And he grabbed to get the coat, the hat, and a toy pistol.

"Hey, Xander!" a familiar voice called out. Xander went up to Willow and Buffy.

"What'd you get?" Willow asked.

Xander held up the loot.

"That's not a costume," Buffy said.

Xander snorted at Buffy and told WIllow, "A few things I have at home, a couple of modifications, and I will have The Costume! Call me the Two-Dollar Costume King, baby!"

He and Willow exchanegd smiles. Buffy fidgeted a bit, feeling that Xander wasn't wanting to be friendly to her., She didn't like that feeling.

"Hey, look, Xander... I'm... really sorry about this morning."

"Do you mind, Buffy? I'm trying to repress."

"Okay, then I promise, from now on I'll let you get pummeled." She put her chin on his shoulder and pouted.

Xander rolled his eyes, but he felt his resentment ease. At least she was trying. And she was touching him... "Thank you," he said, eliciting a Buffy-smile. "Okay, y'know, actually I think I could've t-"

Buffy's eyes got wide and she started walking toward a costume.

An annoyed Xander snapped, "Hello! That was our touching reconciliation moment there!"

"I'm sorry, it's just... Look at this!"

"It's amazing," Willow said.

Xander looked at the overdone 18th century style red dress. "Too bulky. I prefer my women in spandex."

The shopkeeper suddenly appeared by them. "Please, let me." He took the dress off of its dressmaker's mannequin.

Buffy cooed in delight. "Oh, i-it's..."

"Magnificent. Yes, I know. There." He held it up to her in a mirror. "My. Meet the hidden princess. I think we found a match. Don't you?"

Buffy blushed. "Oh, uh, I-I'm sorry. There's no way I could ever afford this."

"Oh, nonsense. I feel quite moved to make you a deal you can't refuse."

She looked back into the mirror, took the dress from Ethan and smiled dreamily as she held it up to her chin.

The shopkeeper turned to Xander. "And what about you, young man?"

"Oh, I found my stuff."

Ethan looked over the selection. "I can't imagine what."

"When I'm done, I'll be a ship's captain."

Willow suddenly made the association. "So don't you need like a big beard?"

"I'm not doin Captain Okida. I'm doing Kodai as the captain at the start of the Comet Empire arc."

"Then why not do the regular Kodai?"

"You want me to wear bell-bottoms and platform shoes, Wills?"

Willow shook her head. "Oh god no1 I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking! Forgive me!"

Ethan had no idea what they were talking about, but the Slayer was the one he had been interested in. These could be of no real consequence.

"What's the pistol for?" Willow asked.

"Because with a couple oif knicks and knacks, a bit of glue, and I'll have a Cosmo Dragoon!"

"Koadi didn't carry a Cosmo Dragoon. That was another Mastumoto anime."

"Don't be nit-picky, Wills."

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Buffy opened the door for Xander. He strode in, saluting sharply.

"Captain Kodai reporting for... " He looked over Buffy's costumed form. "My Lady of Buffdom, were I not a dignified and gentlemanly ship's captain, I would at this moment be making wolf howls and cartoonish yum-yum sounds."

Buffy curtsied. "Thank you, kind sir. And I have to admit, you cleaned up nice as well. What navy is that anyways?"

Xander snapped off a salute. "Earth Defense Force. Captain Kodai of the Space Battleship Yamoto, at your service."

"Shouldn't a spaceship captain look more gold-shirt and Kirky?"

Xander shook his head. "Captain Kirk is not the only spaceship captain -"

She waved a hand. "Never mind. Just wait till you see this!"

They turned to look up the stairs at a figure in a ghost sheet with the word 'BOO!' on the front in large bold letters.

"Hi," Willow said shyly.

Buffy huffed. "Presenting ... Casper."

Xander nodded. "Will! That's a fine boo you got there."

Buffy just rolled her eyes in frustration. Willow came up to Xander and commented, "Hey, that really worked! How did you get the gold anchor on so quick?"

"Gold spray paint and a stencil." Xander sized up Willow. "You know, it's not too late to get you a Yuka Mori costume. It's pretty simple -"

"Because it's a latex catsuit! With black lines calling attention to the naughty bits!"

Buffy commented, "You say that as if it's a bad thing. How long would it take to whip one up?"

Willow gave her a burning scowl, but the sheet ruined the effect.

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Captain Susumu Kodai looked around in confusion. A small town, vaguely American looking as he remembered from old movies. Except for the monsters, of course.

He pulled his Cosmo Dragoon and fired a couple of warning shots. The monsters cringed, but tried to come anyway. So he shot a tree and exploded it's trunk. It fell on the main mass of monsters and gave him an opportunity to put some distance between him and the hostiles.

As he ran off, it occurred to him ... why did he have a Cosmo Dragoon?

He noticed he still had his communicator and tabbed it on. "This is Captain Susumu Kodai, EDF Yamato, to any friendly EDF forces. Sound off and identify."

"Kodai!". a familiar voice sounded. "Lieutenant Mori responding. Where are we?"

"I don't know, Yuki."

A mechanical voice sounded. "Captain Kodai sir! Thank the Great Machine you're all right!"

"Analyzer?! Where are you, pal?"

"On board the Yamato, in orbit three hundred twenty-five kilometers above your position. The ship is intact and undamaged but deserted."

"Deserted? One problem at a time, old friend. We'll need an Astro Ascender - this territory is overrun with unknown aliens and we'll have civilians to evacuate."

"Astro Ascender pre-flight, medical supplies, no crew to assist - give me twenty minutes."

"I'll do recon for an LZ and wave you in. Yuki, you have a bead on me?"

"Found you," the Lieutenant responded. "ETA, maybe five minutes."

"XANDER!?"

Kodai spun around and covered her with his weapon.

"It's me, Willow!"

Kodai recognized the language as English, one of the three official United Earth Nations languages. Fortunately, command training included English, Russian, and Japanese. "I don't know any Willow."

"Xander, quite messing around! This is no time for jokes!"

"Do you know what's going on here?"

"You don't know me?"

"No. And my name is not 'Xander'." He lowered his weapon. "I'm Captain Kodai, EDS Yamato. If you're a local, I'll need to find a large open area -"

Willow reached up to grab his shoulders. "Xander, snap out -"

Her hands passed through him, and she stumbled forward through him. They were both surprised by the experience.

"Oh!"

Kodai's pistol came up again as he spun to face her. "What are you?!"

Willow tried to sound calm. "Xander, listen to me! I'm on your side, I swear! Something crazy is happening. I was dressed as a ghost for Halloween, a-and now I am a ghost. And you were supposed to be Captain Kodai from that old anime, and now I, I-I guess you are."

"You expect me to believe that?"

A monster appeared across the street, growling. Kodai fired a shot at the pavement, exploding the asphalt. As the monster ran away, Willow jumped in front of him.

"Careful! No big 'splodey guns! That's still a little kid in there!"

Kodai paused. "What?!"

"A kid! It's Halloween! People turned into their costumes! I became a ghost, you became an anime space hero, and that's a little kid who had been changed! If you're Kodai, you don't blow away kids!"

He holstered the Cosmo Dragoon. "You seem to know me that well."

Willow sighed. "Now we just need to find ... Buffy!" She ran across the street, with Kodai following. "Buffy! Are you okay?"

A roar sounded, and the monster returned with a friend. Kodai drew his pistol. "Ladies, get to shelter!"

"Buffy, what do we do?"

'Buffy' decided to faint.

"I know some officers like that," Kodai said grimly. He took aim -

Bursts of energy weapons fire came from behind the monsters, knocking down the monsters. As the monsters cleared off, several figures approached, including a familiar figure in yellow.

"Yuki!"

"Susumu-kun!" They briefly embraced, then she recovered her professionalism. "Captain Kodai, these men assisted me. They're crewmen from an exploration starship."

The rugged man in the gold pullover nodded. "Captain? I'm Captain James Kirk, Federation Starship USS Enterprise. These are Security crewmen Ghana Getkilled and Leeroy Jenkins." He indicated the man and woman in the red pullovers that accompanied him.

"Captain Susumu Kodai, EDF Battleship Yamato. You know Lieutenant Mori." They shook hands and Kodai asked, "Is your ship around here?"

"We haven't been able to raise them."

"I managed to contact the Yamato, and the only crewman on board is a medical and sciences robot. You have any robotic crew?"

"Afraid not."

"So it's possible your ship is up there but uncrewed. Once we get to the Yamato, we can look for other ships and get some answers. We still need a Landing Zone for a transport - I intend to evacuate as many civilians as I can."

Kirk nodded in agreement. "We passed an urban park on the way in. We'll start rounding up civilians. I've contacted some of my other crew, we'll rendezvous there."

They matched up their communciations devices so they could keep in touch. As Kirk went about his business, Kodai went over to Willow and Buffy. "How's your friend?"

Willow shook her head. "Just like you. She's not Buffy"

"Who's Buffy?" the woman in red asked.

Willow shook her head. "Oh, this is fun." She asked Buffy, "What year is this?"

Kodai took Buffy's hand and helped her up. Buffy answered, "1775, I believe."

"Okay." Willow turned to Kodai. "And you? What year is this?"

Kodai's eyes narrowed. "2203."

She looked like she was about to panic. "I-I don't understand. Who are you?"

Willow said softly, "We're friends."

"F-friends of whom? Y-your dress... Everything is strange! How did I come to be here?"

"Breathe, okay, breathe. You're gonna faint again." She turned to Kodai. "How are we supposed to get through this without the Slayer?"

"What's a Slayer?" He shook his head. "Never mind. Miss? I'm Captain Koadi. The military is evacuating the civilians to safety, away from the monsters." He indicated Yuki. "This officer will escort you to safety, where a launch will take you and other civilians to a ship."

A monster came from around the tree behind Buffy and roared, fangs bared and claws raised to attack. Buffy screamed, and a energy bolt blew it's head off.

Yuki reholstered her weapon. "You have to be careful, Miss. This area isn't safe."

As Yuki led Buffy away, Willow protested. "That was a transformed innocent person!"

"We have to protect as many as we can!" Kodai said. "I suggest you help getting civilians to a safe area for evacuation."

"Evacuate to where?!"

"The Yamato's in orbit above us. I managed to contact -"

"WAIT!" Willow said. "The Yamato - the Space Battleship! - is in space over us right now?! Who did you talk to?!"

"Analyzer. He's a service -"

"He's a perverted robot! I know!"

Kodai looked at her appraisingly. "You do seem suspiciously well-informed."

"I told you - you're a character in an anime! And that guy in the gold shirt? Captain Kirk of the Enterprise? He's from an American TV show!"

Kodai sighed. "Right now, Miss Willow, our first priority is protecting civilians, then finding out what's going on, then dealing with it. In that order."

Willow wanted to argue, but could only nod.

Kodai commanded, "Your intangibility makes you ideally suited to spread the word. You know where that Park is Kirk mentioned?" Willow nodded. "Then go and find people, tell them to meet there for evacuation. An Astro Ascender can only carry two hundred fifty if we pack them in, but I'm not going to leave people if I can help it. Pilots would be welcome to pilot more ships."

"Um ... Xander? Kodai? Whatever - you heard her say she thought it was 1775? Well, this is 1992, not twenty ... whenever."

"2203."

"Yeah, well, space pilots are thin on the ground in 1992 California. I don't even know if I can find an airplane pilot."

"Do what you can. The important thing is to get the civilians out of here. Human life comes first."

She nodded and ran through everything around her.

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Giles relaxed as he went through a stack of cards he pulled from the card catalog. He seldom got to catch up with his mundane duties, and found them rather enjoyable.

He heard yelling and sirens outside and looked up, wondering what's going on. Suddenly Willow came though the wall and Giles jumped in complete surprise, cards flying all over the place.

"Hi," Willow said timidly.

Giles calmed down a bit and Willow explained everything she could. Finally Giles got the idea what was happening.

"Um, so everybody became, uh, whatever they were masquerading as?"

"Right," Willow said. "Xander was Captain Kodai and Buffy was an 18th-century noblewoman."

"A-and, uh, your costume?"

"I'm a ghost!"

"Yes. Um... uh, the ghost of what, exactly?"

Willow tried to cover her midriff with her arms. "Well, this is nothing. There are monsters running around there." She frowned. "But there are a lot of people just in costumes, who didn't change. I was directing them to the evacuation point -"

"Evacuation point?"

"Xander's evacuating the civilians so the monsters don't get them. I was spreading the word."

"I see. Good. But not everyone changed? What about the ones who did?"

Willow considered that. "I don't know. Buffy and Xander and me all changed. I saw some of Cordelia's Posse and they didn't change. Maybe the magic doesn't like Partytown costumes?"

"And you didn't get a costume from Partytown?"

"No. We all got ours at a new place - Ethan's."

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The civilians were gathering, and there were several of the Enterprise crew in red, blue, and gold shirts. As the evacuating ship was under Kodai's orders and they couldn't contact their own ship, they had placed themselves under his command. Fortunately there were some medics among them to tend the wounded. There were a number of strong-willed sorts who among the civilians who were keeping the crowd under control, like the guy in the bat-suit and the fellow in the fedora with the bullwhip.

The Astro Ascender came out of the sky in a whine of powerful engines, settling down on a patch of grass. The deployment ramp came down, and Analyzer skated out. "Captain! Miss Yuki!" he called in Japanese. "I'm so glad to see you again! I was all alone and scared!"

Kodai clapped the robot on the shoulder. "Good to see you too. Get these civilians on board - priority for wounded and children. Those people in the blue, gold, and red tunics are space crew, they go up, too. We found a couple of pilots, check them out when you get up there. That man in the gold tunic? That's Captain Kirk, he'll handle the details."

"Aye-aye, Captain!"

Kodai got up on the ramp. "PEOPLE! I'm Captain Kodai of the Earth Defense Force! We don't know where the aliens who have attacked you have come from, but we're clearing you out as quickly as possible! We have a ship in orbit ready to take you to safety! Just remain calm, and we'll all get out of this intact!"

"LIKE HELL!"

The people screamed and the crowd parted, allowing a pack of vampires in 'game-face' to stride through. "People, please! This wanker can't save you, because he's going to be dead soon! Thanks for rounding up all the victims in one place, mate! Permit me to introduce myself - I am Spike, Master Vampire, and me and my friends here are going to kill all of you, drink your blood, and otherwise have a fabulous time! But first - is there a lady named Buffy here? I have a bit of murder, torture, and maybe some recreational rape to -"

An explosion sounded in the pack of vampires, and a barely-glimpsed bat-figure began wreaking havoc. Phaser fire began cutting into their ranks as well, and a number of pistols emptied themselves into the vampire mob. One man with a prosthetic chainsaw and a shotgun was walking through the undead crowd having a fine time.

Spike glared at Kodai, who was standing at the top of the loading ramp. "Well, mate, that just leaves you and me!"

"And my friend here." Kodai pulled his Cosmo Dragoon and fired down at Spike, point-blank and center-mass.

Spike, seeing all the rayguns around, exerted all his vampiric speed and managed to dodge the shot, but got thrown through the air as the blast exploded the ground behind him.

Kodai jumped down and yelled, "Get everyone on board! Now!"

The Starfleet personnel got people on board as Indiana Jones, Batman, and Ash Williams tore through the vampire mob. Yuki, Kodai, and a couple of Starfleet security began sniping with their energy weapons, cutting down the monster horde.

Spike looked on as the energy weapons, apparently as effective as sunlight, sent vampire after vampire into Final Death. He saw that the window of opportunity that Drusilla had predicted was closed, as if the Slayer was indeed weak, she was in that group of unrealized victims, well-hidden and protected. Spike decided that discretion was the better point of valor, and fled into the night.

While the monsters were killed off, the space crew got on board with the first evacuees. Kodai took the controls and launched into the heavens.

As the Astro Ascender climbed away, Batman gave orders to keep the remaining civilians together and locate some more for the next flight.

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In the void between Earth and Mars, a bulging-headed alien presence glared out a viewer.

"Yak! Yak-yakyak-yak!" he demanded.

"Yak-yak! Yak-yak-yak!" his underling replied.

A sensor officer spoke up; "Yak! Yak-yak-yak-yak! Yak-yak!"

"Yak!" the first alien commanded.

The saucer ships of the Martians sped through the Night toward Earth.

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Aboard the Yamato, the Starfleet personnel managed to sort the refugees, and several of them and two civilian pilots were checked out on landing craft to get more refugees.

And down on Earth, Ethan Rayne was pummeled into revealing how to break the spell, and the Janus statue was shattered.

A wave of nausea passed over the Yamato, and Xander Harris was suddenly himself again.

Mostly.

Buffy pushed her way through the crowd. "Xander? Is that you? Can someone tell me what the hell happened?!"

"I';d like to know that myself." Xander noted that the Trek crew were looking confused, but the two dressed as Vulcans - and the one dressed as an Andorian - were physically unchanged. "But the first question is 'has the problem in Sunnydale passed?"

Cordelia pushed her way through the mob. "What do you mean 'in Sunnydale'? Where are we, Xander?!"

"Aboard my ship ..." He thumbed his wrist communicator. "Yuki? Analyzer?"

"Here, Kodai." "Aye-aye, Captain!"

"Yuki, where are we?"

"Afraid we really are on the Yamato. I'm on the bridge and looking out. God in Heaven what a view! And I take it you're no more Kodai than I am Yuki?"

"Well, my identity's back. But the memories and skills seem to still be there. Same with you?"

"Oh yes! I never had any idea how much Yuki knew! Communications, medicine, sensor operations, small craft piloting, molecular engineering - "

"Good. Can you patch me through to a phone in Sunnydale?"

"While standing on my head in a bucket of live crabs."

"Great! I need to get a number. And ... what should I call you?"

"Well, my name was Clarice Tompkins, but I'll stick with Yuki. Mainly because I look like Yuki now. I didn't recognize my own reflection!"

"Oh, I'm sorry ..."

"Don't be! I'm six inches taller and fifty pounds lighter, my skin is clear, my butt is firm, and I look great in spandex! Whatever did this, I want to give it a big damn kiss!"

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Giles had managed to calm down Willow to a degree. He had hoped his neighbors hadn't noticed him bringing a young girl dressed as a strumpet to his apartment in the middle of the night, but he would handle that when it came up.

The phone rang, and Giles answered it. "Giles here."

"Yo! G-Man!"

"Xander! Are you alright, Mr Harris?"

"Peachy, Giles, just peachy! I managed to evacuate a couple of hundred people from Sunnydale, then we partly changed back. Buff's alright, too."

"That's wonderful! The crisis is averted, by the way. It was a Chaos Magic spell, and I destroyed the icon. I'll brief you when you coime in ... hold on. Did you say you evacuated some people?"

"Yeah, that's part of why I called. I got two hundred fifty-odd folks up here and I got to bring them in. I can bring us into the docks, but I have to know the ship won't vanish from under us."

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. "Xander ... you were outside of Sunnydale when the spell was cancelled?"

"Oh yeah. About a couple of hundred miles out."

"Good lord!"

"I was in character! All I could think of was 'monsters are attacking, evacuate the civilians'!"

"No, no, I'm not mad, my boy. It was an excellent call under the circumstances. The ship - it was part of your costume's persona? Not a ship you ... um, picked up?"

"Yeah, just like in the comics."

"Then I'm guessing that since you left the range of the spell, the ship is ... well, permanent."

"That matches up with what I'm seeing. Several people who were in costume are still changed physically but know who they are."

"Then come into the harbor, and I'll meet you there. We'll figure out what to do from there."

"Righty-ho, Oh Great One! See you in a bit!"

As he hung up, Willow gaped. "Let me get this straight - he was right?! The Yamato is really real now?! And Xander's going to land it in Sunnydale Harbor?!"

"Um ..." It suddenly occurred to Giles that he had no idea what kind of ship Xander now had. "Um ... exactly what fictional character was Xander dressed as?"

"Captain Kodai of the Space Battleship Yamato."

"The ... WHAT?!"

SBSSD - SBSSD - SBSSD - SBSSD

The US Navy Pacific Fleet went to Defcon 2.

A gigantic radar silhouette appeared sixty-odd miles above the ocean, heading for California at transsonic speeds. Missiles were readied on ships and ground installations, and aircraft swarmed in it's wake.

The contact slowed down to subsonic speeds off the North American coast and some ground-based aircraft managed to get into visual range. Of course, they had trouble relaying what they were seeing.

Then the signal came on the civilian channels ...

"To local air traffic control - this is the EDF Space Battleship Yamato, requesting landing corridor for Sunnydale Harbor."

A military transmission broke in. "Um ... Yamato? This is the US Navy. You are in U.S. Airspace. You are instructed to change course away from civilian airspace."

"American aircraft, this is Yamato Actual. According the Planetary Mutual Defence Treaty of 2073, the Earth Defense Force has jurisdiction over planetary security and authority over national military forces. And even though this is 1992, this is still a matter of planetary security. And in any case, my seventy-five thousand tons of flying battleship wants to go to Sunnydale Harbor, as do my two-dozen gigajoule-output shock cannons, my many banks of fifty-megawatt pulse-lasers, and my enormous numbers of nuclear missiles. Not to mention the Wave Motion Cannon wants to go there, too, and you know how cranky those can get. So we're going to Sunnydale Harbor. Confirm receipt."

"Um ... message received, Yamato Actual."

SBSSD - SBSSD - SBSSD - SBSSD

Giles and Willow were heading toward the docks when a gigantic sonic boom shattered every window in Sunnydale, and the roar of the engines made the tissues in their lungs vibrate.

They got out of the car and saw the huge cigar-shaped silhouette of the ship pass over their heads.

"Oh dear God," Giles commiserated. "The Watcher's Council is going to have kittens!"

"Kittens heck!" Willow said loudly over the engine roar. "More like adult Siberian Tigers!"

The occupants of Sunnydale's docks were treated to the sight of the running-light-outlined warship flying overhead, banking over the ocean, and coming down just outside the harbor.

SBSSD - SBSSD - SBSSD - SBSSD

The sight of the Yamato landing in the ocean and steaming up to the docks in Sunnydale Harbor was a sight not even Sunnydale Syndrome could extinguish. The two-hundred-plus refugees returning attracted a lot of attention as well.

The next day, representatives of the US military showed up and surrounded the harbor. A Colonel named Harper came aboard and was escorted to a table on the forward deck, right under the forward shock-cannon turret. Captain Kodai - a.k.a. Xander Harris - met with him, accompanied by Rupert Giles and an officer named Commander Pete Farragut who bore a frightening resemblance to Mr Spock from Star Trek.

Col Harper was briefed on the existence of the supernatural, the Sunnydale Hellmouth, the Watcher's Council, the Slayer (no names mentioned), and the Halloween Incident.

"I should be saying that's all insane," Col Harper said, "But the truth is, the US Military has a program called the Initiative that investigates the supernatural. And this - this! - did fly into the harbor. So you said the spell ended when the statue was broken? Why is all this still here?"

"I believe I can answer that," Cmdr Farragut said in Leonard Nimoy's voice. "According to the automated sensor logs, when this ship was in orbit over Sunnydale, there were six other ships, all from various fictional sources. When the spell ended, the only one that had any living persons on board was the Yamato, and it was the only one not to vanish. It would seem that having live humans aboard when outside of Earth's atmosphere allowed the effects of the spell to remain. The ship and the costume props that had been made actual equipment remained as they were. Those of us who had physical changes - such as myself, two other Vulcans, an Andorian security officer, and Lieutenant Mori - retained those changes."

"Also," Giles added, "Many people who underwent changes that night retained skills and memories. This was true both aboard the Yamato - which is why they can operate the ship - and in Sunnydale. In fact, three individuals who aided the evacuation have retained their memories and skills and have begun aiding in the defense of Sunnydale and the Hellmouth. The relevant factor seems to be emotional stability." Giles carefully didn't mention whether it was positive or negative stability.

"Of course, these skills aren't all useful," Captain Kodai said. "For example, the Slayer retained a complete knowledge of china dinnerware, 18th-century etiquette, and British teas. I have a very through knowledge of the layout of an underground city that was never built. The eleven Trekkies we have on board, while having advanced technical knowledge, find much of it useless as the laws of nature in this universe differ from those of Star Trek."

"Well," Col Harper said, "The government will be happy to compensate you for your trouble -"

"Oh no," Captain Kodai said. "The Yamato only answers to the Earth Defense Force, a directorate of the United Earth Nations. And our mission is the security of the planet and the human race."

"Which is what we want!" Col Harper insisted. "And all the threats to humanity are right here on Earth!"

Cmdr Farragut shook his head. "That turns out not to be the case." He activated a control, and the surface of the table they were sitting at filled with an image like a television screen. "These are readings of tachyon emissions in the skies surrounding Earth's solar system. If you'll note, there are eight distinct groups that show clear patterns - a minimum of eight interstellar civilizations capable of faster-than-light travel."

The image changed to a planet with false-color patterns. "This is the planet Mars in neutrino emissions. As you can see, there are a large number of neutrino sources on Mars, and the only thing that emits neutrinos is a fusion reaction. We are looking at an advanced underground civilization on Mars. Incidentally, we detected twelve small vehicles launched from Mars that should arrive at Earth in four days."

Captain Kodai mentioned, "They must have seen those ships appear and disappear, and are coming to investigate. And if they're hostile?" He got up. "Well, don't worry - remember, our remit is to protect Earth and humanity..And as soon as the United Earth Nations gives us the order, we'll hand over the technological databases that allow the creation of wave motion technology, artificially-intelligent robots, energy weapons, and other goodies."

Col Harper stood and yelled, "You can't do that! You're an American, damnit!"

"I am a human," the Captain said. "First, last, and always. I will not endanger the human race by playing political and economic games."

"Well, it's not going to happen! We don't need some naive young idiot who got lucky telling us what to do! You will either hand over this ship or spend the rest of yo9ur life being held incommunicado in some cell in a prison that doesn't even exist!"

Kodai held up a hand to silence him. "You should know we took the liberty of overriding every transmission on Earth. This entire conference - and every word said - was seen and heard by everyone on the planet except the Amish."

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them nervously. "I admit I was reluctant as well, but Xan- er, Captain Kodai - was most persuasive. The secrecy surrounding the supernatural has only aided our enemies by preventing us from bringing our full power as a species upon them. And now that same secrecy could leave us vulnerable to alien attack." He gave a tight-lipped smile as he put back on his glasses. "Full disclosure is the only viable option to allow mankind to face it's adversaries as a unified whole. And now it has happened - everyone now knows about the supernatural, the Hellmouth, and about those spaceships approaching our planet. And the threat you just delivered."

"As I said," the Captain stated. "The Yamatowill obey the legitimate legal orders of the United Earth Nations and the Earth Defense Force. In the absence of those orders, I will have to fulfill my mission of protecting Earth and Humanity to the best of my own judgement." He grinned. "Incidentally, to our viewing audience, we are rather short-handed and need space-crew and especially space-fighter-pilots. Please use the application on our new website. Thank you."

SBSSD - SBSSD - SBSSD - SBSSD

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was in response to the Ship of the Line challenge. YAHF story - check. Xander gets a spaceship - check. An unrelated space story in the background - check. In case you missed the oh-so-subtle hint, it's the critters from Mars Attacks!.

I also took the liberty to put a small layer of other stuff, but only a taste. For example, while there are Trekkies with Trekkie skills on the Yamato, it's also pointed out that Trek-physics does not work. The phasers the Trekkies possess, while still functional, are magical replicas and can't be duplicated. So while the Trekkies now have the skills and memories of experienced and adaptable space-crew, most of their "scientific" know-how is useless.

Also, a few other people are inspired enough to keep their YAHF skills and act as a replacement for Xander and maybe Willow in the Scooby's ranks - I'm thinking Batman, Indiana Jones, and Ash Williams should be enough to cover the shortfalls. So the Hellmouth is protected, as is the Big Black.

And, of course, my own fave bit - the Big Reveal. No one's hiding anything. Janus will be a happy camper - chaos, confusion, social structures being re-aligned to cope with both the supernatural and mankind's stepping into space. Sunnydale will be examined by everyone since that's where the Yamato berthed, and Wilkins should be outed in short order.

Rather than do the cliche "Harmony" change, I made the other potential love interest a new character, a formerly dumpy geek-girl whom Xander may have glimpsed at the comics store but didn't know. Of course, now she looks like a fashion model, has lots of brains, and is still a geek-girl at heart.

This is also my first stab at the whole Buffy genre.


End file.
